Intentional Love

I can’t stop thinking about what crazy beings we are – passionate, yet not intentional, logical one moment, irrational the next… joyful yet hopeless, courageous yet fearful.  How are we pressing on with such an array of emotions?  What are we doing with our days?  There are so many things we say we FEEL passionate about… and yet what are we doing?  The root of all I’m passionate about is to be Christ-like, for I would have no other reason to be passionate about anything.  Yet how am I being intentional about following Him?  How do we even know what steps to take?  This idea of our crazy minds going all over the place has been termed for me as spiritual amnesia, and I think this concept is expressed very well in James 1:22:

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.  Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.  But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.”

That’s what we do.  We look at ourselves in the mirror and then immediately forget what we look like.  We read the bible and we forget what it says.  But he who looks INTENTLY into the perfect law that gives FREEDOM will be blessed in what he does! We’re able to do this when we realize just exactly what God’s love means, and that his perfect law (the Bible) is for our benefit! And as we begin to understand, we discover more than a ‘should’ feeling; we discover a strong desire to read the Bible with intention, and escape this spiritual amnesia!

John 15:7-12 says that “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.  This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.  As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.  If you obey my commands you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love.  I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.  My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”

I can’t get over the fact that God’s perfect law, what we’re called to do, is LOVE; a word that gets thrown around worthlessly, meaning only what one wants it to mean.  But it has a meaning!!  For it’s never been true that God has a lot of love, but rather that God Himself IS Love.  The word in its true meaning is the union of all his commandments, and in order to fulfill this call to LOVE, we must be INTENTIONAL about acting, following, and serving what we learn from His word and not letting spiritual amnesia hinder us from moving forward!

For me personally, it’s not always easy…As I talked about in my post Loving the Unlovable, there are times I get so caught up in the boys’ under appreciation, that my initial feeling is to give up on them, bring them down instead of build them up…  I want to say “Fine, do whatever you want!” But I don’t… because what if God said that to me?  What if God had given up on me amidst my hardest times – when I didn’t understand myself, but sure didn’t want other people trying to help me?  I am firm in my faith, and I am sure of hope – but my hope is more important for the boys (and others) than it is for me!  For I know for a fact in my own mind that the inconceivable God exists, that his son, Jesus Christ, died for our sins, and that the Bible is the word of God… but if my hope is not intentional, doesn’t transform me, doesn’t renew me, then it is nothing but the shell of hope – a hope for a hope.

Our first Family Photo

When you think about life as a Christian, what’s truly ours?  As stated in 1 Corinthians 4:7, “For who makes you different from anyone else?  What do you have that you did not receive?  And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?”  Honestly, I think the only thing that’s truly OURS, is our free will (and even that was received).  But we have a choice!  We can either take God out of the box we’ve put him in, and see Him for whom He truly is, or we can continue thinking that WE know better.  But once we make that choice to put our faith in Him – we have to be intentional about the hope we’re given. We have to be intentional about His love :-) 

Renewing the Mind

I recently read an essay by C.S. Lewis where he claims that there are three kinds of people in the world.  He says: “The first class is of those who live simply for their own sake and pleasure, regarding Men and Nature as so much raw material to be cut up into whatever shape may serve them.”

“In the second class are those who acknowledge some other claim upon them – the will of God, the categorical imperative, or the good of society and honestly try to pursue their own interests no further than this claim will allow. They try to surrender to the higher claim as much as it demands, like men paying a tax, but hope like other taxpayers that what is left over will be enough for them to live on. Their life is divided, like a soldier’s or a schoolboy’s life, into time “on parade” and time “off parade”, “in school” and “out of school”.”

“But, the third class is of those who can say like St. Paul that for them “to live is Christ”. These people have got rid of the tiresome business of adjusting the rival claims of “Self” and God” by the simple expedient of rejecting the Self altogether. The old egoistic will has been turned around, reconditioned, and made into a new thing. All their time, in belonging to Him, belongs also to them, for they are His.”

C.S. Lewis goes on to say that the majority of people are in the 2^nd class, which strikes me as true, for I’m sure that’s where I myself fall. Regarding the first class, although I’m certain it exists (for we see the marks of “self-pleasers” on a daily basis in this world), the 2^nd class still seems to be the principal existing group in our society-many of them at least having the claim towards the good of society.

Upon reading this essay, I could make sense of the first two groups, while the 3^rd group made little sense to me.  Rejecting self altogether? To live is Christ?  It sounds appealing to a Christian, yes, but what does it actually mean?  As far as rejecting ourselves, we live in a society that tells us the exact opposite.  When our feelings are hurt, it seems like today’s solution is to “Stop worrying about what other people think, and think about yourself!”  “Live for you, not them!!”  I won’t lie; it does make me feel better when people say that - I shouldn’t let others control my life and emotions… I should, myself, be in control!

What really got me thinking about the meaning behind that 3^rd class of people was the idea of Self-Forgetfulness (introduced to me in a 40 page book by Timothy Keller).  In this book, Keller talks about the human condition being driven by our egos.  Now, our ego is our “sense of self-esteem or self-importance.”  So Keller points out that although people say their feelings are hurt, it’s really not our feelings that can be hurt, but rather our egos…  In a society that’s striving for self-importance, and self-acceptance, this makes sense.  Rather or not we say that our feelings won’t be hurt (because we don’t care what others say about us) they probably still will be … hence the need to build up our ego and convince ourselves that “it really doesn’t matter to us.”

As a Christian, this bothered me.  I understand that a lot of the time my thoughts and feelings are driven by my ego, but why?  What am I searching for?  What is it that can give me that self-acceptance? 

Christ

The 3^rd type Lewis was talking about suddenly made sense as Keller asked me why I was living my life as though I were on trial?!  Jesus Christ died for our sins, and typing that statement doesn’t even get close to its meaning…God loved us so much that he manifested himself in human form in order to understand the suffering of mankind, and then he died for all of us... 

Keller says in one of his sermons that if a neighbor called you up and said, “Hey, I stopped by your house today and you had a bill waiting for you, so I just went ahead and paid it”…  What would be your reaction?  Wouldn’t it depend on how much that bill cost?  There’s a big difference, he says, between .20 cents of postage and 10 years of IRS back taxes…  It’s the same with Jesus… until we understand just HOW MUCH our freedom cost, we’ll never understand just HOW MUCH he loves us.

And once we begin to comprehend just a little bit of God’s love, you have to ask yourself… What am I striving for?  Where can I find my self-importance?  What’s my ego driving at?

Romans 8:1 says: “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
  
Why are we living like there’s still a verdict out there?  Why do we think something is still “up in the air”?  Christianity, as Keller says, is the only religion that has given the verdict before the performance.  We’ve been saved by Grace through faith, and yet how many of us are living like we really believe that?  “We have to re-live the gospel every time we pray. We have to re-live it every time we go to Church.  We have to re-live the gospel on the spot and ask ourselves what we’re doing in the courtroom.  We shouldn’t be here.”

You can see very clearly what Lewis is saying about Paul in 1 Corinthians 4:3-5

“I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. ⁴ My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. ⁵ Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God.”

We are called to love, and although getting rid of “self” seems unnatural… I’m starting to see it as natural-for we were truly made for Glory!  Our ego can stop searching for acceptance, and importance… we already have that IN Christ… Our egos should be Christ-driven.  And when they are, we’re no longer trapped by our own feelings of “self”, but able to start living out the purpose God has intended for us which as I’ll continue to say, is IMMEASURABLY more than we can imagine.  So go ahead and imagine, but know that God’s plan is unimaginable… even better than your best imaginations...

Loving the Unlovable

More and more often I find myself rushing to put on the greca (Dominican coffee pot), rush up to my roof, listen to music, and pray…taking on the responsibility of four adolescent boys who were raised in an orphanage has pushed me into this routine… but not as an escape, rather a daily lesson and reminder.

I knew when I moved down here that making a home with these boys wasn’t to be taken lightly – that it would require more dedication, hard-work and love than I had ever given…However, even today I am still taken aback by just how much it requires (an amount I couldn’t possibly provide for myself)...There are days when the boys, from my perspective, treat me either like I don’t exist, or as the adversary.  I’ll take them aside to talk to them about their attitude, potential, responsibility, etc… and they’ll completely shut down, to the point where they won’t even look at me… it’s like talking to a wall (except less fulfilling since you’re not expecting the wall to respond).  I go away from the conversations hoping that at least PART of something I’ve said resonates with them.

The problem that I’ve found is that the boys can’t see outside of their own perspectives (I guess that’s a lot of people) – they look at their own afflictions, what bothers them, how everything affects them…and they don’t think about how other people are feeling or how their words/actions affect others… hence they get angry quickly and blame everything except themselves for their problems.  They’re not badly behaved kids, just closed off teenage boys with harder pasts than I can even begin to imagine… and the way they behave by no means has diminished my love for them (for it’s not something to be taken personally – that would be selfish).

 Rather, we have been called to love like Jesus did… under all circumstances, and without expectations…to love the unlovable… the ones people might say “don’t deserve” love, although there’s not a person alive who doesn’t deserve love, and there’s not a person alive who isn’t already unconditionally loved by our Lord.  But how can one love someone without expecting anything, without wanting to feel loved, respected, or even appreciated in return? It’s not easy – it’s like loving your enemy (which we’ve also been called to do)…

In Romans 12:9 -18, it says:

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. ¹¹ Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. ¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ¹³ Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.^[c Do not be conceited.

¹⁷ Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

Wow… it’s an easy read, but what about putting it into practice…sincerely?  How do we devote ourselves to one another, honoring one another above ourselves?  Well, as it goes on to say, we keep our spiritual fervor… we remain faithful in prayer, patient in affliction, and joyful in hope…

…that’s to say that loving these boys (or anyone) isn’t easy, but that there’s always hope, and that I should be JOYFUL in that hope... How many times do we “hope” for things that we don’t necessarily think will happen? Yet it doesn’t say be doubtful, downhearted, or wishy-washy in hope… it says joyful; a source or cause of keen pleasure or delight; something or someone greatly valued or appreciated… Loving those who don’t love you (or don’t show it), may seem pointless, but it’s not; it’s our duty as Christians, and there’s always hope.

It also struck me on Sunday, when the pastor of my newly found Dominican church read Ephesians 4:15 which states, “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”  He went on to say, “hablar la verdad sin amor es brutalidad, pero tener amor sin hablar la verdad es hipocresía” which means, “Speaking truth without love is brutality, but loving without speaking truth is hypocrisy.” 

 I’ve found this to be truth!  I need to love the boys unconditionally, but if my love is sincere, I also have to speak truth –correct them when they do something wrong, teach them to respect, to see others’ perspectives, to value and appreciate what they’ve been given… I won’t be brutal, but nor will I be a hypocrite… 

It’s a fact: you can’t have love without truth, nor truth without love. 

That being said, I faithfully pray that God provides me with the strength and opportunities to always speak the truth IN LOVE, and to know that there is and always will be HOPE for everyone!  And I am learning to rejoice in that hope!

We Were Meant to be Courageous

You know those joyous moments where everything just seems to be going right?  Where you feel like you could conquer the world, pursue anything, all while humming some favorite song aloud?  I felt that way the other morning – I was making coffee and listening to music while Gregory, Chispas, and Eduardo helped me clean.  They were in high spirits – making jokes, wrestling (to the point that I had to send them to the bakery to buy bread just to distract them), and singing along to my English music, making up words as they went.

I love moments like those, and yet I wonder why they don’t happen more often.  What makes that joy disappear?  How do you go from feeling on top of the world to worrying about inconsequential things? And what would it take to keep that joy; make it endless?  Honestly, I think what we lack is courage; the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc.

How many times do we stop ourselves from doing something at the fear of facing those things? “I would love to serve others, but with my job, it would be difficult.”  “I want to restore my relationship with so and so, but I think it would be painful.”  “I want to live out the words of Jesus, but that would be really dangerous.” What’s happened to our faith, and the courage that comes through faith?

 In 2 Timothy 1:7, it says:  For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.   Yes, it may be difficult to fit service work into your schedule, but isn’t that what’s really making a difference?  Yeah, it might be painful to mend a broken relationship, but isn’t it worth the time and pain?  And it’s definitely dangerous living out the words of Jesus, but isn’t that more important than whatever else it is “were doing” with our lives?  Our joy comes from following his words – by truly loving others and working for the benefit of everybody!  “God created us so that we might be his workmanship.  We are here to serve him, not to use him to serve us.” – Follow Me to Freedom

And that’s when we discover that joy comes from having courage – the courage to confront difficulty, pain, and danger and know that God will see us through – that we can do ANYTHING through him who gives us strength.  Imagine a world full of courageous people who were unafraid to take leaps of faith for the love of others –each and every one of us living out our purpose.  As John Perkins and Shane Claiborne said, “Everyone has a part to play, but we have to make sure there is space for others to play their part.”  It’s about all of us, not just “me”.

I will continue having those joyous moments, and I will strive to make that joy endless.  Come difficulties, pain, and danger, I will no longer fear, for it says in 1 John 4:18:

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love”

 Instead of fearful, I will become courageous – undaunted in living out the word of God, which calls us to love others, not ourselves.  And through that courage, comes that joy that truly makes each day worth living.

Heather, Mello, and I eating at a friend's house!